UNCLE ALOYSIUS FAMOUS TRIII...

What is UNCLE ALOYSIUS' FAMOUS TRIIIPLE STRENGTH BULL RUN SYRUM FORMULA™?
FRIENDS, ARE YOU JUST'D? RIDDLED WITH BOBOITIS? NECK SORE AF FROM BUYING ANOTHER TOP? BILIOUS DUCTS HYPERDEFLATED? FRET NO MORE, THERE IS FINALLY A CURE FOR THESE TERRIBLE AILMENTS, AND MANY MORE! IT’S A TRUE MUST-DRINK ITEM FOR ALL SERIOUS POTION BUYERS. I PRESENT TO YOU, THE PATENTED, THE ONE AND ONLY: UNCLE ALOYSIUS' FAMOUS TRIIIPLE STRENGTH BULL RUN SYRUM FORMULA™ (ticker SNAKEOIL)

IT’S GOOD FOR WHAT AILS YOU, IT’S GOOD FOR MAN AND BEAST, IT’S GOT EVERYTHING A BULLRUN INDUCING SYRUM OUGHT TO RIGHTLY HAVE! BROUGHT BEFORE YOU TODAY, ON RECOURSE FROM SERVING THE CROWNED HEADS OF EUROPE, BY NONE OTHER THAN UNCLE ALOYSIOUS HIMSELF!

GRAB A BOTTLE AND DRINK IT UP, LATHER IT ON YOUR SKIN OR GUZZLE IT FROM A CUP! THIS TONIC WILL LEAVE YOU FEELING SO BULLISH YOU’LL BE SELLING FOLKS COATS OFF THEIR VERY OWN BACKS!

YES SIR, IT’S THE ONE, THE ONLY: UNCLE ALOYSIUS' FAMOUS TRIIIPLE STRENGTH BULL RUN SYRUM FORMULA™ (ticker SNAKEOIL) GOOD FOR MAN AND BEAST!